


The Secret of Silbury Hill

by graestu



Category: Doctor Who
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 05:44:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20791592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graestu/pseuds/graestu
Summary: The same question occurs to Amy + Rory and Bill. Is the prehistoric Wiltshire landmark about to give up its secrets?





	The Secret of Silbury Hill

The Doctor and Bill were in his university study for their regular Friday afternoon chat.

"You know Silbury Hill ?" she said.

"Not personally. But, yes, I've driven past it many times."

"So what's that all about, then?"

"Try the library," The Doctor suggested.

"I have. It was built by the Beaker People. Or someone else. It's a Druids' burial mound. Or something else. I mean, is any of that even close?"

"How should I know? I've never had anything to do with it!"

"And this is from the main book about it! Useless!" Bill slung the old, slim, hardback book down onto the desk. "It records a 1920s excavation - and pretty much ends with an actual warning along the lines of 'There's nothing here!' and 'Keep Out!'. It's by a Mrs Euphonia Ballast - even her name's like something from _Carry On Dig Your Own Hole _! Silly old bag."

"Hey! Excuse me! That's one of Britain's foremost archaeologists you've just insulted!"

"Oh. Did you meet her?"

"Sadly, I never had that pleasure..."

"Well, then..." Bill began. She was about to ask how, in that case, The Doctor knew whether she was a silly old bag or not, but a phrase she used to say a lot when she was very little popped into her head, and she said that instead, "... I ain't bovvered!"

Which amused them both for a while.

Amy, carrying three spoons, and Rory, carrying a plate with an upturned bowl on top, came down the staircase into the TARDIS console room.

Amy lifted the bowl, proudly revealing to The Doctor a steamed treacle pudding they had made.

Its distinctive shape had stirred a memory.

"You know Silbury Hill?" she said.

"Not personally, no," replied The Doctor. "Though , of course, I've been past it enough times. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, an old school project. Quite boring, really."

"Yes," agreed Rory. "Because we never did find out anything. We suddenly thought you might know."

"Why should I? I've never had anything to do with it! But since you're interested, what a great opportunity! We'll go and find out!"

His bony fingers quickly adjusted the TARDIS controls, so Rory put his plate down on a step with a sigh.

"If it's prehistoric, how do you have coordinates?" asked Amy.

"I don't! That's why we're only going back to the 1920s. The Golden Age of British Archaeology. And at its forefront, Mrs Euphonia Ballast! I've always wanted to meet her!"

The Doctor, Amy and Rory soon found themselves in a muddy Wiltshire field. The tented encampment was busy with bow tie wearing professors examining their latest findings.

A large woman in a tweed suit stampeded towards the newcomers, and introduced herself as Mrs Euphonia Ballast.

"Good show! Admirably prompt!" she boomed, with hearty handshakes all round. "Couldn't explain on phone! Hush, hush!"

"Very wise," spluttered The Doctor, as she dragged him away. "Make yourselves at home, Ponds," he gulped, leaving them stranded.

At the entrance to an excavation tunnel into Silbury Hill, Mrs Ballast checked no one else could hear.

"Rumbling," she confided to The Doctor.

"Rumbling?" he repeated.

Grabbing a gas lamp each, she led him into the darkness.

"Head!" she warned, ducking under the low wooden beams and squeezing along the narrow passage.

Deeper and deeper they went, until they arrived at a chamber which was a dead end.

"That is definitely a rumbling," observed The Doctor.

"What do we think?"

He whipped out his sonic screwdriver and waved it in all directions, becoming increasingly concerned.

"What I'm going to tell you must go no further," he insisted.

Once Mrs Ballast's jowls and chins had settled from her vigourous nodding to signal agreement, he revealed his discovery.

"We're in the only active volcano in Britain!"

Amy and Rory were staring at a table covered with broken pottery - exactly the same pieces from their school books, and no less boring for being right in front of them in real life.

"We're reliving history!" chuckled a passing professor.

"You know the one thing I'd do if I could relive history?" Rory said to Amy.

"Not mention Silbury Hill to The Doctor," Amy guessed correctly.

The Doctor hurried past, and into the TARDIS.

"Nothing to worry about!" he called, dashing out again, carrying an old cardboard box.

"That's worrying," said Amy to Rory, as The Doctor disappeared down the tunnel.

"Another thing you can't tell anyone," The Doctor told Mrs Ballast while emptying and arranging the contents of his box.

She hadn't understood the sonic screwdriver, and now was expected to believe that The Doctor could stop what he predicted would be the biggest volcanic eruption ever.

"All done!" he said, surveying the strange collection of bleeping gadgets at their feet. "A relatively simple job. And I'd be grateful if you seal off this chamber. And maybe make it clear in your notes that there's nothing down here worth investigating."

"Word on it, Doctor."

They headed back to the surface.

"I've got to make a note myself," admitted The Doctor. "The containment field I set up will only hold for about a hundred years, so I'll have to return one day to reset it."

Mrs Ballast was even more baffled.

A cry of pain echoed from the tunnel entrance, and Amy and Rory rushed over to meet The Doctor.

He emerged looking dazed, and rubbing his head.

"Low beam!" Mrs Ballast guffawed. "Was warned!"

"Steady," said Rory. "It could be concussion." He brushed Mrs Ballast aside, saying, "I'm a nurse."

Mrs Ballast hooted with laughter at the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.

"Silly old bag," Amy muttered, as she helped The Doctor into the TARDIS.

"I'm alright now!" announced The Doctor in his familiar surroundings. "Let me see... the last thing I remember... You'd just brought in that steamed treacle pudding! What's it doing over here? Come on! It looks delicious!"


End file.
